Naked Leader Week – 6 (26 May 2003)

The weekly update from David Taylor, author of “The Naked Leader”

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With energy and love to all

David

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 10        Feedback please… A Naked Week has been going for six weeks. Please let me know what works for you, and what does not. Your thoughts will be welcome and valued, and I thank you in advance…please send them to me at david@nakedleader.com

 09        As people all over the world take their exams…I have had e-mails from parents and candidates themselves giving their views on the high pressure exam systems, does anyone have any experience of using any relaxation / belief / confidence techniques we can share?…

08        Talking of exams brings memory to mind… I was helping Olivia learn some (very boring) dates this week. Kevin Trudeau’s wonderful mega-memory system served us well. Olivia had to learn ten dates from 1066 to 1432 and by replacing them as times of the day, putting all of the events in one very familiar location and having the ten events happen at the location, at those times directly in front of us, she remembered the list in five minutes, and they are remembered forever…

07        Talking of teenagers, Cim Bartlett, who knows more about relating to, and influencing teenagers, than anyone else I have ever met, wrote this week for book 2. I think it is a wonderful antidote to all those people who say “teenagers are a pain”, thank you Cim…

When you listen – I am

Do you think that you really listen to your teenager?

Whatever answer you have to that question – I strongly recommend that you ask them, “Do you think that I listen to you”? Then take a moment and think about what would the world look like if we really, really listened to our children/teenagers, that they would feel completely heard? Spend a few moments and think about that. When you grew up, did your parents listen to you, or did you feel that nobody ever listened to you? To be a good listener, in my opinion, is the biggest challenge we have.

 This is how you can start to improve your listening skills:

• Listen with your lips shut.
• Listen with no judgments.
• Train your mind to respond – NOT to react.
• Stop what you are doing (washing up etc.). Turn around so that your heart is facing your teenager’s heart (it doesn’t have to be obvious that you are doing it). Research shows that most mothers and fathers hold their babies close to their heart, to connect.
• Listen from their point of view, it’s about them, it’s not about you. Don’t always come up with rescue solutions to their problems, sometimes they just want to talk.

 The key here is to ask them now and then if you think that you are listening to them and don’t give up on this, you’ll get better and better and it’s a life time exercise.