founder of naked leader
How To Build Immediate Rapport With Anyone
Naked Leader Week 958 – 24 January 2022
Time to read: Around 1 minute
Last week I was asked a very challenging question:
“David, of all the techniques you know of what is the single, fastest and most powerful way to build rapport with anyone?”
Fortunately, I had an answer. From the hundreds of books written on this subject, one stands out, and it was written over 85 years ago! Step forward ‘How To Win Friends and Influence People’ by Dale Carnegie and the following principle that runs throughout the book:
Find out what is important to the other person, and only talk about that
Why is this so effective?
Because people’s favourite subject is always – always – themselves. This includes everything they care about e.g. Their family
A few years ago Rosalind and I decided to try this out at a networking event – our challenge was this – how long can we go without talking about ourselves, and only about what is important to the person we are with.
I lasted about 8 minutes!
Rosalind did much better. A man she had been speaking with came up to me and said he had just had a “fascinating” conversation with her, “What an interesting person she is” he added.
Of course I agreed, and when I relayed this compliment to Rosalind, she said she had shared absolutely nothing about herself, and just asked questions about this guy’s favourite subject – fishing!
Find out what is important to the other person i.e. what they talk about most – listen, ask questions and talk only about that subject.
David
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