founder of naked leader

Humility is great…

Time to Read – 100 Seconds (give or take)

But not to the point of self-destruction

Last week I was observing a meeting of Senior Execs, and as I did, I realised something about people who call themselves “humble” – they often appear the most arrogant:

• They do not accept compliments (an insult to the person offering the praise).

• They are very defensive when receiving critical feedback (“don’t you have a go at me – that’s my job”).

• They talk about themselves a lot (“let’s talk about you – what do you think of me?”).

That is not being humble, that is having low self-esteem, and it is one of the biggest diseases inflicting adults.

If this is you, do these:

• Accept compliments (Accept them by looking the person in the eyes and saying “thank you” – whether you believe they are genuine, or not).

• Receive feedback (Again, say “thank you” – you will find as you do a feeling of deep peace run through you, and the person you thank will immediately pay you a compliment – this also applies when someone has a “go” at you by email – simply email back – Thank You.

• Listen to others – really listen (Ironically that is the best way to be respected, trusted and popular.

With my love and best wishes to you all


13 Responses to Humility is great…

  1. Wise words indeed and timely to remind our selves of this regularly

    Dave Thomas
    Ashmount School

  2. One of the best in ages – thank you (looks right in eyes as he says).

    Few things are more grating than false humility. The holier-than-thou air is often so palpable and condescending.

    I wrote a song yesterday and its bloody brilliant. Give me a GRAMMY NOW. I’ll accept it without sobbing like a drip and I wont thank my hairdresser either.

  3. Love the post but couldn’t quite make it in 100 seconds!
    Good theme though. Know so many people who say they are humble but are not.
    Thanks for exposing the type.

  4. Brilliant – I do suffer from the first one you describe – the affliction by which my first instinctive answer to a compliment is to deny it – only now I realise it can be seen as an insult – more often than not it’s because I tend to be very realistic and like to call a spade a spade. Therefore nothing annoys me more than people trying to tell me something I have done is brilliant when it quite obviously isn’t.

    But I think that the second reason for me doing this has deeper roots and is a cultural thing. I guess deep inside I still have it, unconsciously. It stems from being born and brought up in an Eastern European country where it was seen as arrogant to agree with someone when they paid you a compliment. Simply saying Thank You, without first making at least an attempt to “belittle” that thing they’re complimenting you on, was seen as plain conceited and “full of yourself”…

  5. I agree that it is easy to turn aside a compliment.
    I tend to pretend I’m not listening and let the person repeat it because I am too embarrassed to listen to the actual thing that is being said.
    I don’t like being talked about and I don’t like being complimented.
    I don’t show humility though. Just indifference to the whole situation.

  6. Compliments are very important to take. It gives someone a lift just to be told that a job has been done well. it’s a feelgood factor that one needs to have self esteem.
    So yes, accept praise, it’s so important.

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