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Make peace with their fathers

Naked Leader Week – 122 (w/c Monday 19th September 2005)

Please send this on to those whose lives you touch,

and to anyone who you think may benefit from this story.

 One of the biggest issues for men, is to make peace with their fathers, something I write about in book three, to be published next year, and receive e-mails on every week.

Last week, my story with my father, this week, someone else’s experience of making peace with their father after he had passed away. They wish to remain anonymous, so I merely repeat their e-mail.

Please do send this on to anyone you know who has recently lost a loved one



I lost my father when I was just 17, and because my mother wanted to protect me from worry, I never knew he was so ill, and his death was very sudden and a huge shock. Now I am 43 and I have now at last found peace.

 I did this through a combination of what you wrote about in your first book, David, and a technique I was taught by a hypnotist, although it did not involve direct hypnosis.

 One evening I lay on my bed, closed my eyes and started a forgiveness session. I covered myself mentally with a deep purple cloak, large and sweeping, and let it flow all over you. I then relaxed by simply being aware of my breathing.

 Then I allowed a person who I had argued with the previous day come into my mind, followed by a teacher from school, and then an ex-boyfriend from a few years back – our relationship has ended with bad feeling. With each person I invited them into my mind, and as they did so, I acknowledged them, and looked at them for a few seconds – they were some distance away from me, like watching them on a cinema screen. And then I let them go, seeing them disappear from my mind forever, and as I did, I said to myself, in my head, “I wish you well, and I choose peace over this.”

 And then I invited my daddy into my mind in the same way – although this time he was much closer, right in front of me. And this time, I asked him a private question that I wished I had asked him when I was alive, and listened to his answer, and before long we were having a conversation. David this sounds weird but I honestly felt I was having a conversation with my father – even if others reading this will say it was only with my inner self. To me that didn’t matter, because of what happened next.

 After a few minutes of this “conversation” I walked up to him in my mind, and hugged him, and said some things to him – I can’t remember the exact words because I just made them up as I lay there:

 “I love you daddy, and I know you are now at peace, and that you would want me to be, as well. I will never forget you, and with the strength of our love, I choose to be at peace.”

 And he smiled, and he walked away – and right now, as I write this to you David, I feel at peace and at one with him, and yet I also feel completely free, and the guilt has gone.

 I send this to you David to share with others and to ask them to share with others, and if just one person finds peace with their lost loved one as a result, it will have been worthwhile.



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