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Seven How-Tos that build trust, rapport and influence – 1 of 2

Seven How-Tos that build trust, rapport and influence – 1 of 2

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Seven How-Tos that build trust, rapport and influence – 1 of 2


7. When someone is speaking to you, one to one, listen – really listen. Pay total and absolute attention to every word that is being said, to the tone, even the spaces in between, as if your life depended on it. Doing this is the biggest compliment we can ever pay another human being. Smile at the right moments (when it feels right to smile), and nod now and again (not like the continuous nodding toy dogs you get in the back of cars) and check for understanding by repeating back to someone what they just said, in your own words.

6. When you first meet someone at a networking event don’t ask what most people ask – ‘what do you do?’ A pointless question as people are not defined by their job, also it is a tough question to answer for many entrepreneurs – indeed for many people, and it’s so boring. Instead, ask ‘where have you travelled from to be here today?’ a much easier question that opens up possible discussions about them, where they live, family or even indeed their work, as they may have just come from there.

5. When we speak we can only ever say three things – a statement, a command or a question. Most of what human beings say are statements, and most of those are opinions stated as if they are facts. The key to trust, rapport and influence is ask questions – about the other person. It’s not about you, it’s all about them.

Next Week – The Top 4

Meantime, please let me know how you get on with any or the above in the comments below

With my love and best wishes


6 Responses to Seven How-Tos that build trust, rapport and influence – 1 of 2

  1. Love point two. Isn’t it such a natural thing to ask ‘what do you do?’ when actually, the answer might just be something rather uninteresting which isn’t that person at all
    “I work in a toothpaste factory”…oh really, that’s nice.
    Ask where they have travelled from, then you can relate to that town and say you’ve been there etc, and it enriches the conversation from the word go.

  2. I couldn’t agree more with the previous comment! The e mail couldn’t have arrived at a more opportune moment as I was attending a networking event yesterday. I found asking people had they traveled far to be there, really did open up so many avenues and usually always then involved discussions about holidays and other trips they had taken. Really useful tip, thank you David.

  3. Funny how children are often the best coaches. For example:(re point 7) When my 24yr old son was only 2, he was chatting away in my arms and unexpectedly grabbed my chin, turned my head to his and said “Listen with your eyes daddy”!

  4. I prefer to ask questions of people than make statements.
    It’s vital to get to know how others tick if you are to interact with them.

  5. There are times when I wished I would really listen to my kids when THEY want me to not when I want to.
    Make time to really listen is my advice.

  6. Great 3 points. Great questions seem to be against all three. Checking understanding (questions are in reflection), networking from where, why, how, what. How good questions can engage people and how challenging it is to put the right question to any given situation. Great points. Thanks David

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