founder of naked leader
- Telling someone to “calm down” (they will do the opposite)
- Getting upset as well (unless you enjoy that, of course)
And possibly the worst of them all:
- Rushing in with a quick fix (good luck with that one)
So, what to do:
- Change their state – move out of the room, have a coffee, or gently touch their elbow and say something like ‘Sorry to stop you mid flow (name) – before you tell me about it are you ok if we have steak for dinner?’( or something else!) After such an intervention, they won’t be able to recreate the state they were in before (and won’t quite know why).
- Listen to them – really listen – and then repeat back what they have said, to show understanding.
- Listen for a key word in a phrase – e.g. “All I want is to be appreciated’ and then ask ‘what kind of appreciated?’ (Or key word).
- Repeat 2 and 3 as often as needed and you will get to the root cause behind the upset – what they needed, wanted or expected to happen.
- And then you can either help it happen, explain why it can’t happen or say you will think about it.
Why does this work?
Because people want to feel valued, respected, listened to – and this is actually more important than always getting their own way.
Hey, don’t believe me – go do it…
With my love and best wishes
Please share your experiencesin the comments below