founder of naked leader
Time to Listen: 3 Minutes 2 Seconds
I was asked last week “What if people spot me using Naked Leader tools and techniques that I read in your books or on twitter or in your blogs?” – The short answer is to embed them as part of what you do every day, with absolute confidence.
Five key points that will help you do this:
1. Everything in Naked Leader is aimed at building rapport and trusted relationships with yourself, and with each other. If your ethics are about helping others, you will be fine.
2. Children do this stuff – you did when you were a child – to a degree we are simply relearning, remembering and repeating what we once knew and did every day as a matter of course.
3. Naked Leader is about returning to be your true self – if any lying, unethical or dark manipulation is going on here it is in the false, negative messages and manipulations that are being done to you, all the time, by the media, by your own inner voice of doubt, and by people playing darker politics.
4. Have fun with all tools and techniques – they won’t hurt anyone! You will know if what you are doing is “working,” by both the results, and how you feel as you use them – if you feel awkward then you will be awkward and they will not work.
5. What happens if two people know the same technique e.g. handshake?* – then you will build rapport, faster!
Ultimately, focus on the outcome you want for yourself, and others, and every day do what helps take you closer to achieving it. If something does not “work” then do something else.
With my love and best wishes
Please share which “leadership tools and techniques work, for you, and those that don’t
To make a great first impression when meeting someone – go to shake hands (1) look into their eyes, pause for 1/10th of a second and smile warmly – and introduce yourself as you move in to shake her/his hand (2) immediately match their grip strength (unless they squeeze your hand off, in which case withdraw your hand) and have the angle of your elbow the same as theirs (3) Let them dictate the personal space – you will feel where it is “right,” and (4) mirror their feet – stand as if their feet are yours in a mirror.
Why does this work? Because we like people who are like ourselves.
The looking into their eyes bit reminds me of when the late, great Ayrton Senna met his wife, a TV star, on stage.
There was chemistry immediately.
And the looking into the eyes was the essential part of knowing they were made for each other.
See the film Senna, if you haven’t already. it is great and will bring you closer to a racing legend.
Like the handshake and the looking in the eye bit.
I always think you can tell a lot about someone by the shake of their hand.
Firm is best.
Weak shows a lack of character.
I have been ‘spotted’ using NL techniques.
The one I like to use is the one where you walk into a room full of people where you don’t know anyone and walk straight up to someone with confidence and engage as if you had known them all your life.
It’s quite liberating and you have to do it with sincerity.
In this case it was my wife, who had got to a party earlier than me. So actually, I had known her a while and she recognized the technique having read David’s books!
Being true to yourself is the only way to be.
Becoming the person you really need to be is the key to fulfilment in your life.
We are relearning things we knew as a child, it’s absolutely true.
It’s like riding a bike. We all just learnt it and got on with it.
The conscious mind has a lot to answer for. The subconscious mind already knows exactly what to do.
Thanks for all of these much appreciated – the biggest challenge I had was when the children were younger, they spotted everything! David
They still do David!
Like the handshake one. Reminds me of the annoying advert on radio at the moment about the fact you can get more germs of a handshake than by kissing someone!
I still prefer kissing someone.