founder of naked leader

Differences make The Difference

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Time to Read:  2 mins 07 secs

Time to Listen:  6 mins 12 secs

Diversity – Differences make The Difference

Diversity – a word with so many different definitions it has become the very definition of itself.

Political correctness, an obsession with cultural differences and plain stupidity* have hijacked the business agenda, which is very simple – we are ALL different, and when you can identify those differences, and transform them into strengths, action and results, you win.

In a world of instant globalisation – you unlock the power of your people; you make and save money, and leave your competitors behind.

Yes, diversity is of course about age, gender and cultures (which, by the way, covers everyone on earth), AND it is also about leadership, results and choice.

Leadership – How to identify, unlock and unleash the talents in everyone:

  • Results – How to transform people (the only asset in your organisation) into profit (the lifeblood of all you do).
  • Choice – It’s not how good you and your people are – that is a given – it is how good you choose to be. You will always have people who choose not to give their best – and you know my view on that one – “you don’t want to play? Well, we don’t want to pay.”

At Naked Leader we are about one thing more than anything else – why you do what you do, and how through choice, you can identify, unlock and unleash the skills, ideas and energies that they already have.

Imagine if you could do that for everyone – everyone in your organisation, who wants to do it.

And now, you can.

That is what fills me with excitement, passion and hope – that is why we in Naked Leader do what we do.

So, how quickly can we understand these simple, subtle and significant differences that make The Difference?

In the build-up to our annual conference, I am going to look at diversity in three areas – “Human Drivers”, “Talent” and “World-Class.”

This week – How to build instant rapport by understanding one of seven key Human Drivers – Pain or Pleasure?

9 September – The only Talent Programme that actually works

16 September – A different definition of World-Class

Human Driver – One – Pain or Pleasure?

So, how do you find out someone’s difference, so that you can use it to build rapid rapport, and trust?

Simple – ask them!

When someone is talking about a dream, outcomes, or basically anything about themselves, ask this – “why is that important to you?”

Then, listen – really listen – to their response, as if your life depends on it.

Their response (i.e. them) will fall into one of two categories – they will either reply with something like:

“Because it’s something I really want, always have and I can’t wait until I have achieved it”


“Because I have always regretted not doing it, and if I don’t do it soon, I am scared I never will.”

They will not use these exact words – they will (always) talk about what they want or something they don’t – regardless of culture, gender or age.

The first reply indicates he/she is a moving towards person – motivated by what they want – moving towards pleasure.

The second reply indicates he/she is a moving away from person – motivated by what they want to avoid – moving away from pain.

Now, here’s the key, and the clever bit, all in one:

Whatever you are more driven by (and you will know by listening to yourself) talk to this person in their choice of language (which may, or may not, be the same as your preferred driver).

People driven by pleasure talk about dreams, blue sky, ideas, ambition – why they want something.

People driven by avoiding pain talk about the consequences of not achieving their dreams, risk, what would happen if something didn’t happen? – Safety and security.

And then, as you match their language, just watch what happens.

Instant rapport.

On October 3rd we will share all seven human drivers.

Next weeks Naked Leader Weekly – save a fortune on your “Top Talent Programme” while unlocking a talent that you never knew you had.


With my love and best wishes


* Stuart Wheeler of UKIP – “women are not competitive enough for the board room” – can’t wait to hear what Estelle Brachlianoff, Veolia Environment Director of Northern Europe and UK Country Director has to say about that at our conference!

18 Responses to Differences make The Difference

  1. Unleashing our full potential has to be the aim of every one of us.
    Otherwise, when we are laying on our death beds, we will have a head full of regrets.

  2. The pain and the pleasure?
    I enjoy the pleasure of getting closer to a deal and don’t want to experience the pain that comes with failure.
    That is my human driver.

    • Thanks Christian – the big question for you is which do you feel stronger about, it will be one or the other – then you will know your main driver in life. David

  3. David,
    Do you think the happiest and most successful people are ‘towards’ rather than ‘away from’ motivated? Or do you think it doesn’t make a difference either way? I usually get my clients to reframe ‘away from’ goals into ‘towards’ goals, e.g. ‘Gain slimness’ instead of ‘lose weight’ – given that we move towards our dominant thoughts – but maybe I should be doing as you suggest and matching their language?

    • Thanks David – no, I don’t think people are “happier” one way or the other – Rosalind is an away from person and she is totally content with life – give matching their language a go David and see if it works for you – if not, go back to what you already do so well. Thanks David

  4. Gaining slimness, now that is a novel way of looking at it.
    You might have hit on to something there, the whole world is obsessed with losing weight, and actually, we should be trying to get slim. Brilliant.
    PS. Eat less.

    • Yes, pain has many drivers – the threat of losing one’s house if you don’t bring in enough money (many coaches reading this will have been there, I certainly have)…phobias and fears…and the human spirit’s extraordinary mission to survive and keep us safe. All of that said, i’m with you on pleasure – David

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